When we close our hearts to our partners

17 de agosto

Be the Partner You Want Your Partner to Be

canada goose black friday sale Most of us hear this statement, “Be the partner you want your partner to be” and we laugh and say, “Of course! Dah!” But it often doesn’t work out that way. Instead, we are often in the habit of matching the experience we have of our partner’s behaviors and attitudes and we act to them the way they act to us. canada goose black friday sale

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canada goose uk outlet The statement, “Be the buy canada goose jacket cheap partner you want your partner to be,” is actually a radical paradigm shift. It calls on deep commitment, conviction and mindfulness to shift the focus from how your partner shows up or doesn’t show up canada goose clearance to how you show up or not. It is an invitation to you to clarify your own values, principles and guidelines on the kind of a partner you want to be. It then challenges you to live into alignment with what you hold as true not based on someone else’s ways, but rather, your own internal compass. canada goose uk outlet

canada goose uk shop Do not go into a trance to believe this is an easy task. We are wired for reactivity. Being the partner you want your partner to be takes Canada Goose online great diligence, discipline, pausing, canadian goose jacket breathing, checking in canada goose coats before acting, regulating your emotions, and being mindful of your non verbal and verbal expressions. canada goose uk shop

uk canada goose But the work is worth it. To listen and honor your own guidance canada goose clearance sale versus being reactive is the most empowering and enlightening way to live relationship. When we close our hearts to our partners, we shut down on our own internal experience of love. Said in another way, we cannot experience love if our hearts are shut down. Therefore, reacting negatively to our partners when we don’t like what they do or not do actually hurts ourselves. These old defense mechanisms no longer serve us but they are thieves to what we actually want to be living. uk canada goose

Canada Goose Outlet Follow these steps for further help manifest The Turn Around: Canada Goose Outlet

canada goose clearance Make a list on how you want your partner to show up for you whether they currently are or aren’t. canada goose clearance

cheap canada goose uk Go through the list and take honest inventory by exploring if you show up in the ways you listed in the first question. cheap canada goose uk

uk canada goose outlet Write down your values and principles for what a good partner is in a beloved relationship. (You may refer to your own marriage or partnership vows). uk canada goose outlet

Canada Goose Coats On Sale Rate yourself honestly and discover your strengths and where you are falling short according to your own code of guidelines, not what someone else says you should or shouldn’t be doing. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

canada goose clearance sale Questions for your own Self Inquiry: canada goose clearance sale

canada goose coats When you are in conflict, do you let your partner canada goose coats on sale know that they have a point when you can? canada goose coats

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cheap Canada Goose When things are rough and you are taking space from your partner, do you focus on how bad it is or do you turn your attention away from the argument and self soothe and nurture Canada Goose Outlet so that you can re group and have more resources to canada goose store deal with the canada goose black friday sale issue when you come back together? cheap Canada Goose

buy canada goose jacket Do you make efforts to do the next loving thing with your partner, not based on how you feel but rather your commitment to live in a loving relationship? buy canada goose jacket

canada goose coats on sale Once you clarify your own values, principles and guidelines for being the partner you want your partner to be, take time each night to reflect on how much you lived accordingly to your vision. You are cultivating new ways and it takes effort and reflection to actually make it yours. It’s okay if you blew it that day. Every exchange is an opportunity to learn. There is always the next moment to do the next loving thing. canada goose coats on sale

Canada Goose sale Deva Joy Gouss, LCSW, is an experiential psychotherapist in Atlanta for thirty three years. Working within group, couple and individual settings, she also integrates Canada Goose Parka energy medicine, Canada Goose Jackets polarity touch, yoga, trauma resiliency therapy and the power of Canada Goose sale ritual. For over two decades, she gives monthly workshops from Marrying Yourself to Nourishing Your Love for Couples Canada Goose sale.